The Great Bacon Dialog

THE  GREAT  BACON  DIALOG
Friday Nov. 4th, 2022

 

Had a great discussion about bacon with Rick from Poplar Springs a couple of weeks ago at the Vintage Dog.  None of the quotations is exact.  It's really just a happy memory now.  Here's the way I recall it:

D I A L O G

Frank: Has Poplar Springs Baptist Church started back up on its monthly Saturday breakfast, now that many people feel the coronavirus is abating or drawing down?

Rick: Nope.  Price of bacon is too high.

Frank: Rats!  I'm gonna miss it.

(pause for thought)

Frank: Y'all had four meats: livermush, sausage, country ham, and bacon.  Why not simply cut out the bacon and serve the other three meats?

Rick: !!

Frank: I love country ham.  Doesn't everyone have a breakfast meat they like besides bacon?

(pause for thought)

Rick: I'm a bacon lover.  I'm not leaving home to pay for a breakfast that doesn't have bacon.

Frank:  Well, can you explain why people take so many slices of bacon?  (Thought balloon: I'm the oldest of four children.  When I was growing up, I thought it was a sin to put more than three slices of bacon on your plate.)

Rick (reading Frank's mind): When I went through the breakfast line, I used to put eleven slices of bacon on my plate.

Rick (to a passing bartender -- you know the Vintage Dog follows the multiple-bartender system, which works really well): If you went out to breakfast and you had a choice between livermush, sausage, country ham, and bacon, which would you choose?

Passing bartender (without missing a beat): Livermush.  (And she keeps on walking.)

(Fadeout)

Q U E S T I O N S   F O R   D I S C U S S I O N

1. Livermush is Cleveland County's "heritage breakfast meat."  How do you feel about "heritage breakfast meats"?

2. Doesn't this remind you of Plato's famous dialog between Haplodides, Diplodides, and Socrates about the meaning of life?  Why, or why not?

3a. Should the expression "As American as apple pie" be updated to read "As American as bacon"?  Justify your answer.

3b. What is your philosophy of bacon?

4. Based on the dialog, which man do you think is taller, Rick or Frank?  Explain.

 

Frank Newton (and yes, it is a happy memory)