THE GREAT BACON DIALOG
Friday Nov. 4th, 2022
Had a great discussion about bacon with Rick from Poplar
Springs a couple of weeks ago at the Vintage Dog. None of the quotations is exact. It's really just a happy memory now. Here's the way I recall it:
D I A L O G
Frank: Has Poplar Springs Baptist Church started back up on its monthly Saturday breakfast, now that many people feel the coronavirus is abating or drawing down?
Rick: Nope. Price of bacon is too high.
Frank: Rats! I'm gonna miss it.
(pause for thought)
Frank: Y'all had four meats: livermush, sausage,
country ham, and bacon. Why not simply
cut out the bacon and serve the other three meats?
Rick: !!
Frank: I love
country ham. Doesn't everyone have a breakfast
meat they like besides bacon?
(pause for thought)
Rick: I'm a bacon
lover. I'm not leaving home to pay for a
breakfast that doesn't have bacon.
Frank: Well, can you explain why people take so many
slices of bacon? (Thought balloon: I'm the oldest of four children. When I was growing up, I thought it was a sin
to put more than three slices of bacon on your plate.)
Rick (reading
Frank's mind): When I went through the breakfast line, I used to put eleven
slices of bacon on my plate.
Rick (to a
passing bartender -- you know the Vintage Dog follows the multiple-bartender
system, which works really well): If you went out to breakfast and you had a
choice between livermush, sausage, country ham, and bacon, which would you choose?
Passing bartender
(without missing a beat): Livermush. (And she keeps on walking.)
(Fadeout)
Q U E S T I O N S F O R D I S C U S S I O N
1. Livermush is Cleveland County's "heritage breakfast meat." How do you feel about "heritage breakfast meats"?
2. Doesn't this remind
you of Plato's famous dialog between Haplodides, Diplodides, and Socrates about
the meaning of life? Why, or why not?
3a. Should the expression
"As American as apple pie" be updated to read "As American as
bacon"? Justify your answer.
3b. What is your
philosophy of bacon?
4. Based on the
dialog, which man do you think is taller, Rick or Frank? Explain.
Frank Newton (and
yes, it is a happy memory)
