Thursday, August 30, 2018

Newton's First Satire and Potpourri


NEWTON'S FIRST SATIRE AND POTPOURRI
Thanks and samples to Bobby Day, Chuck Berry, Little Richard (with a brown sugar ending)
Wed. August 29th, 2018


Rocks in the treetop all the day long,
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a croakin' his song!
All the little birds on Republican Street,
Love to hear the Trumpin go tweet tweet tweet!

Dumpin Trumpin -- stumpin Trumpin --
Go Dumpin Trumpin, cause you're really gotta tweet tonight!

Beep bop a Trumpin, baleep boom bah!
Beep bop a Trumpin, baleep boom bah!
Dumpin Trumpin -- stumpin Trumpin -- pumpin sumpin --
Go Dumpin Trumpin cause you're really gotta tweet tonight!

Tweedly-deedly-dee, tweedly-deedly-dee,
Go Dumpin Trumpin, cause you're really gonna tweet tonight!

We gonna pump some sump tonight!
Pump some sump tonight!
Pump some sump tonight!
Go, Dumpin Trumpin, cause the sump pump's pumpin sump tonight!

Well the Trumpin started hopping, pretty soon it occurred,
He overslopped the buzzard and the great speckled bird!

Trumpin and Pumpin started a novelty shop.
Back up off the counter was the cream of the crop!
The Russians were a hackin and the ruckus was good
Till one day lo and behold
Special prosecutor stood --
Go Dumpin Trumpin, he won't catch up with you,
Go Dumpin Trumpin, he ain't special enough for you,
Go Dumpin Trumpin, use all the speed you got,
Go Dumpin Trumpin, you know you need a lot,
Go head on, Dumpin Trumpin,
Yo' hot stuff is really hot!
Go Dumpin Trumpin, cause you're really gonna tweet tonight!

Ba-dump, bah-dah-dumb,
Ba-dump, bah-dah-dumb,
Ba da da bump ba, ba da dump bump bump bum!


Frank Newton

Sunday, August 12, 2018

A Vision Based on the Gratitude of Ayla Towards the Neanderthals Iza and Creb


A VISION BASED ON THE GRATITUDE OF AYLA TOWARDS THE NEANDERTHALS IZA AND CREB

Sun. August 12th, 2018



I am reading the saga of Ayla and Jondalar by Jean Auel.  The first book in the series is The Clan of the Cave Bear; the second book in the series is The Valley of Horses.  The series as a whole is called Earth's Children.  It is set in cave man days, and it has an interesting structure like Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings (which is a saga about the relations between a species of beings who can live a hundred years, a smaller species of beings who can live one hundred and ten years, a third species of beings who live four hundred years, and a fourth species of beings who have two strangely paired capabilities, first, that they never die of old age, but second, that they can be killed in battle or killed by wild animals, or die any violent death if it happens upon them -- and these four species of beings -- which Tolkien calls the "speaking peoples" -- communicate with each other, and interact with each other in the world's history).

But the structure or premise of Auel's Earth's Children series of books -- six in all, and I have not finished the series -- is that the heroine Ayla, a Cro-Magnon, was orphaned when she was five years old when all the rest of her family died in an earthquake, and she was raised by Neanderthals.  That is, she was a member of the more advanced species of human beings, but was adopted and raised by the more primitive of the two species of human beings that existed side by side on this earth thirty thousand years ago.

I have gotten to the sentence in chapter 26 of The Valley of Horses, page 478 in the paperback edition, where Ayla is thinking about Jondalar, the first Cro-Magnon she has met since she became an adult and was sent off by the Neanderthals to live by herself. "He [that's Jondalar] hadn't noticed, and that pleased her more.  He was thinking of the Clan [that's the Neanderthals] as people.  Not animals, not flatheads, not abominations -- people!"

Ayla is thinking to herself: "For the first time, this Cro-Magnon man I have met is thinking of the Neanderthals as human beings."

Ayla herself is a Cro-Magnon, but raised by Neanderthals, and she is grateful to the Neanderthals who raised her and taught her how to survive in a harsh world, not too far south of the towering walls of ice which mark the northern edge of the habitable world in the prehistoric Europe of the Ice Age.  Ayla is a witness, before the Cro-Magnons, of the humanity of the Neanderthals.

James 1:17 says "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights . . ."  Gratitude is a good and perfect gift; it must be from God.  That is, the gratitude which people feel towards their parents and towards their step-parents -- if their parents or their step-parents raised them well -- is a gift from God.

Now this gift of gratitude, present in Ayla, which is, according to my lights, a gift from God -- it gives me a political vision.  It makes me dream a political dream.  Please imagine with me a conservative child raised by liberal step-parents, well-raised by them, and the conservative child is grateful to his liberal step-parents.  Now, please imagine with me a liberal child raised by conservative step-parents, well-raised by them, and the liberal child is grateful to her conservative step-parents.  Won't this child, raised by step-parents of the other political party, the other political denomination, the other political tribe or species, and grateful to the party, denomination, tribe, or species of their step-parents -- because they are grateful -- defend the political party, denomination, tribe or species of their step-parents when they are surrounded by their own political party and denomination?  Just as Ayla, out of gratitude, defended the Neanderthals in the presence of  her own kind, the Cro-Magnons?

Let us go back now for a time and a paragraph to the two species of human beings that existed side by side thirty thousand years ago, the Cro-Magnons and the Neanderthals.  And let me add a note to this discussion about my Christianity.  I am a liberal Christian, the type of Christian who believes that the Cro-Magnons and the Neanderthals belong to the realm of fact, or at least are endowed with all the high probability which modern science can confer on them -- these two kinds of cave men are not fake news.  Moving onward with that belief, then, we have to add that, in the end, the Neanderthals died out and the Cro-Magnons survived.  I cannot picture the end of the Neanderthals, but I fear it was characterized by a skrinking ability to do favors for the more advanced kind of human beings.  That is, events like the adoption and raising of an orphan Cro-Magnon by a group of Neanderthals may have become rarer as time went on.  It is painful to think about the end of the Neanderthals, but the cartoon movie named Ice Age, which treats the subject of woolly mammoths becoming rare (and ultimately extinct), gives us some glimpse into the end of a species. Darwin coined his phrase "survival of the fittest" to describe extinction.

Now returning to my vision, how should we unpack the metaphor of the vision?  Are the conservatives the advanced Cro-Magnons, making the liberals the less advanced Neanderthals?  Or are the liberals the advanced Cro-Magnons, making the conservatives the less advanced Neanderthals?

My answer is this: it does not matter how the comparison is drawn.  What comes before the throne of God is the gratitude.  The victory -- the win of one species or kind, and the loss of the other species or kind -- is not recorded in God's almanac or record book.  The gratitude is recorded in God's almanac.

Parents who raise their children well are creating resources for their country.  A well-raised child is a gift to the nation.  A well-raised stepchild is the same.

A child well-raised by parents or step-parents of the opposite political party, with their gratitude intact, is a special resource for the nation.  That is the last wing of my vision: we should seek them out.  We should interview them.  We should publish what children well-raised by parents or step-parents of the opposite political party can tell us in our magazines -- in Field and Stream, and in The Insurgent Sociologist -- and on the internet.  I have observed that their gratitude comes before the throne of God.  But human beings should notice, cherish, and study their gratitude, too.

Frank Newton